Sry I called you an 8
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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