i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
