i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
