I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
