I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it's like iHOP with fire
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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