There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
