Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
