I'm gonna have a badass scar
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
