Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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