Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
