xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
