mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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