if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
