It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize