He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
