Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
