I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I want her autograph on my taint
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
