I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize