She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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