Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
