Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
