Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
