i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
