oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
