this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
