i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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