I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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