Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it glows. i had to have it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
