God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
