i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
