Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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