He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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