i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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