You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
