look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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