i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
