you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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