Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
