Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
