oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
