Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
