Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
