I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
