Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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