It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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