You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
