u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
