do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
