I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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