You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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