So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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